I'll be honest these last few weeks have COMPLETELY wiped me out! {seth starting teach school again and attend night school again, the wedding preperation and actual event, Aiden's accident: the tests, the hospital visit, the worry, the emotion, the bills that are now coming in, etc} - I drag everyday and am already SO tired the moment I hear Mason calling me from his room in the morning. I fall asleep on the couch with Seth after putting the kids to bed which is usually the other way around but lately I'm just out.
Good news is Aiden's follow up CT scan seems to have been good news. We never got the call for the results so I called Primary’s and they read us the notes, which basically said the blood is almost all gone! AWSOME!!!! And that the Doctor would be calling if he saw any problem. No call yet so I think he's doing good! They reminded us as did Aiden's doctor that he needs to be FULLY watched the next month. The skull is still healing and we don't want any knocks, bumps of falls to trigger anything. Which we were COMPLETELY ON BOARD with, I've never been more worried about my kids than through this experience. I had a fear that this next month of fully watching Aiden and keeping his brother who likes to 'throw' objects might be tough, but I had NO idea it would be this draining.
The point of this blog has never been to whine, I try and make my blog positive, honest and a true record of our life. Which hopefully keeps with the positive theme most of the time but to keep with the honest theme as well and shatter any illusion that I have it all together or that I’m perfect (not that I had anyone fooled:) here is this post.. I also hope it doesn’t come across as whining… Just honest!
This month has been tough. haha. Mason is definitely a two year old and loves to scream NO at me so nicely, and Aiden has decided NOW is an awsome time to try and start walking {what!} To watch Aiden fully I constantly need to have him with me and since he's now so very mobile he doesn't want to be held so I basically just follow him and try and distract Mason away from him. I've tried putting Aiden in a playpen to play but Mason is just more intrigued with that and try’s to climb in or throw toys in to Aiden. So away the playpen went!
Oh man and this is gross but the poopy diapers have to stop sometime right! Aiden has FOUR teeth coming in on the top, YES all at the same time, all while getting over an ear infection in both ears and the bump on his head.... Mason oddly has decided to join him and has had diarrhea for two weeks. The amount of baths I've given, sheets I've changed and clothes I've washed has caused me to sweat and literally cry in the laundry room, pathetic, I know. I guess my mom was right... "when it rains, it pours!" And as I called her crying yesterday feeling tired and depleted she reminded me "this too shall pass" "don't fight what you can't control" "Just be their mom and just breath" ……So I hung up, and just breathed. The poopy diapers have not slowed down. The Lord showed that he has a sense of humor and 20 mins after my call to my mom Aiden had poop spilling out from the bottom his pants. I wanted to cry since Aiden had already had TWO baths that day but instead, I just took a breath, laid down a towel and give him his third bath. I think I might have even laughed. As I was bathing him I looked at his head and saw his swelling has almost gone completely away! A physical sign he is getting better and more out of the woods. A sign I was grateful for. A sign I needed. I don’t' know what I would do without my Aiden or my raging toddlerJ I love them to the end of the earth. Hard months or not I was reminded I wouldn't give this role or time in my life up... at all! They are my life. I'll take all the bad with the good because at 25 I'm still calling my mom to feel better in hard moments and I can only hope I become the source of love and comfort that you can't get where else, for them. This is a tiring time, one that has caused me to basically DO NOTHING except be their mom and get NO WORK or ANYTHING ELSE accomplished during the day... but that's okay with me too. Because I felt loved being reminded where my focus should be. I already knew I loved Aiden but going through this brought out a whole other level of love. We have felt the Lord with us and have felt his direct love through neighbors, family and friends bringing us dinner on the nights we need it most, our wards prayers and concern, my dear friend picking up Mason TWO mornings in a row for a few hours just so I could shower before noon, and endless calls from family checking in on us and Aiden.
So there is my ramble. So even though I’m beyond tired, I realize I'm too blessed to be stressed! I’m getting A LOT of quality time with my amazing boys and more importantly my son is healing, I couldn't ask for anything more.
Thanks for talking me down Ma and reminding me to just breathe. I love you!
5 comments:
Amee told me about your rough week to say the least so I wanted to peak and get the whole story. I am so sorry for all the trials and I can't even imagine how you feel. Prayers from the STG.
I get tired just reading your blog. After Mason got on the elevator and went to the bottom floor twice...I thought how hard it must be to keep and eye on two Mason's:-) And then make sure Aiden doesn't fall on his head as he is trying to walk...oh, Lacey, my prayers are with you.
Lacey, Hang in there. I am glad to hear that Aiden is getting better and that you haven't had any more scares. Life is a journey and right now you are on an endless climb. Hang in there, and remember people are praying for you every where. Try and stay strong, and just take a second for yourself. Take a warm bath with bubbles so that you can find your center and begin the week again. Reach out to all who are around you, and don't forget to ask for help. Smile and remember your prayers, and you will see you have done it.
As we went to the temple Friday evening down went not only "A's" name but both of yours also. We can't help being in NY but we do send up some pleading prayers to a loving Heavenly Father in your behalf. Thanks for letting me hold "A"so much when we were there. I definitely did not get enough of Mason since he would not stand still long enough but I thoroughly socked him up with my eyes. YOu are a wonderful mother and wife. Thanks you so much!!!! Your mother's counsel to breathe was perfect!
Lacey J., each morning,take a quick look out an east window, to make sure the sun is still rising. Life goes on, whether you are in the drivers seat or not. Sure do love you, LOTS!!!!!
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