Happy Father's Day to my man!

Father's Day has always been a holiday I wanted to ignore or have it go by really  fast.... kind of like valentines day when your single! Cause for many years I've been... single, you could say. I love my dad. I really do. It took me years to come to where I am now but I've grateful to be where I am, but I'll admit I wish it was with him in the picture sometimes. Up until a few months ago he'd never even met my kids... I guess technically he still hasn't but a few months ago after years of not seeing him we ended up the same family function and my kids were there. I think I held my breath the entire time. I wanted to be strong but I'm not going to lie, when he didn't even look at them.... it broke a part of my heart that I didn't know was still possible. I cried the whole way home. Long story short our relationship has always been complex. There is zero anger left in me and just sadness remains. I love him and I always will. A part of me is glad we're an eternal family because eternity is a long time to not like your daughter so maybe he'll break eventually:)

I was a very lucky girl to have the mom that I did, a special man named Bill who claimed me even though he didn't have too and eventually a father in law that I would call my own any day of the week!


Now, i love father's day because somehow, someway, I lucked out in the 'father for my kids' area. Seth is an amazing husband but he was born to be a Dad. Not just a dad but a dad to Mason & Aiden. I can't even type this without getting emotional. He is truly, truly one in a million. He has NEVER, ever been too busy for them. Not once. He walks in from a long day at work and the first thing he does is set down his laptop, give me a kiss and then goes and finds the boys. He doesn't sink into homework, yard work, watching sports... nothing until he has had time with them. I thought that would be something that faded over time but it's literally been everyday since we brought Mason home. He has been an active, hands on dad in every stage, newborn to toddler. He connects with them in the cutest of ways. He takes time to listen to Mason. He will seriously lay out on the floor and play with Aiden when there is a million other things on his to do list! He is patient, he is loving, he is accepting, he is thoughtful and he is so interactive with them. Not only are we blessed to have the boys but the boys really are blessed to have him. He is amazing. I remember wigging out... no literally wigging out after we had been chosen for Mason. It was an intense time and we were adjusting to everything adoption was throwing at us, through all that it sunk in that I was going to be a mom and that Seth was going to be a DAD and not that I thought I'd be anywhere near perfect but I completely paniced and told him if he wasn't going to be a good dad then to tell me NOW, not just a good dad but that he really need to take this role on 100%. That he needed to be their hero, nothing less. Mason needed to be able to look up to him and trust him and KNOW KNOW KNOW that he was loved. I started to cry and said you can never leave him. I basically told him to tell me now if he couldn't fill that list cause if not I didn't want to bring Mason to our family... wow, I think back to that and realize the intensity of the situation made me lose my marbles for a moment but luckily my sweet man knew right where that freak out came from and looked at me and said "I promise I won't be your dad... I'll be mine" I trusted him.


He did not let me down.


He still hasn't.


I have a sneaking suspicion that he won't let these two little boys down either.
 

 
 

The only picture i could find on my computer with my dad... yes i look like I'm going to the prom but in white! oooh, if only we could do re-do's... not the husband part just the style part!:)"